Forgive me if I’m letting you know too much about my private life here but I’m so embaressed with myself I feel I should share the cringe with the public.
I had a dentist appointment this morning for some long awaited work that needs doing and it was scheduled for 10.30. I have trouble getting up so I didn’t actually rise until 9.45. This meant I had to shower etc. in 10 minutes and do the half hour walk to my dentist’s.
By the time I got there I was still shattered and nearly dosing off in the waiting room. When I finnally got into the dentist chair I pretty much passed out straight away. I felt this was fine, to be honest I’d rather be asleep while they stuck small drills in my mouth. But I must have been having quite an interesting dream cos as I woke up half way through my session I realised I had quite a storming hard-on. To be honest I really wish I could have seen the fear and shame in my eyes as I finally clocked the godless happening that had just occured in my trousers.
Here is a visual aid. It’s not mine but none the less impressive.
I then had to spend the next 15 minutes trying to visualise all sort of bizarre and disguting sights to try and surpress the rising. Nothing seemed to work. I tried to think of gruesome shit, but then I had a horrendous feeling that if I tried this method to often I would start to get turned on by sights of wounds and dead bodies. This is a road I don’t wish to venture down. So instead I tried to think of a song in my head to take my mind of it but all I could think of was that Plug song ‘Life of an Animal’, and unfortunatly for me that girl Sian is quite hot. The situation was becoming intense.
The dentist finally finished my work with my rock still in full swing I muttered cheers under my breath and said my good byes avoiding all eye contact. I thought thank fuck I’m out of there but then I clocked that I now have to go downstairs to book another appointment and also wait for my Mum to turn up to give me a lift home. I think the thought of my Mum turning up put the fear of god into my little mate and he tucked himself away.
All in all quite an eventful trip to the dentists.